Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day. I assure you I be not makin’ this up. It be not a nationally-recognized holiday like Easter or Christmas, but it exists and I feel it be me duty t’ celebrate it t’ t’ fullest extent possible.

I started t’ mornin’ with a breakfast befittin’ a pirate, stale bread and grog. Then one t’ way t’ work, I overtook t’ fine lookin’ Mercedes in t’ lane next t’ me and stole t’ car for meself.

Upon arrivin’ at t’ office I decided a little pillagin’ was in order. I stormed t’ managin’ beauty’s office and took his prized “Shareholder o’ t’ Year” award. I would have taken t’ keys t’ his beach house too, but I was distracted by a handsome associate and spent t’ next two hours lettin’ him be me wench.

After partakin’ o’ some more grog, I lost me head and set fire t’ t’ office.

Further celebration o’ International Talk Like a Pirate Day has now been banned by t’ shareholders.


T’ word o’ t’ day be “chumbucket”. It be not in t’ dictionary.

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