Redhead Esq, an associate at [law firm name withheld so I don’t freak out the shareholders] in South Florida, has voluntarily checked herself into the Tandy Ranch Rehabilitation Clinic for the Technologically Disabled for treatment of an admitted BlackBerry addiction. Redhead Esq claims her dependency on her BlackBerry began in January of this year. “The shareholders insisted I have one. I had it in my purse for about two hours before I realized I had a problem. That little red light just kept blinking. I thought if I didn’t check my email the poor little thing might explode.”
Colleagues of Redhead Esq recognized the problem right away. Associate Attorney #1, the one with an actual personality, said it was sad to watch her rapid descent into addiction. “I knew she had issues when I realized she was sending BlackBerry messages while she was still in the office. It’s a shame; she had a lot of potential. But if she doesn’t come back I get her office.”
Even Redhead Esq’s supervising shareholder, speaking on the condition of anonymity, seemed somewhat remorseful when asked about her condition. “In hindsight, it might have been better to wait a while longer to give her the BlackBerry. You know, see if she could handle it before we set her loose with it.”
Tandy Ranch does not allow patients to use the phone while in rehabilitation, so we emailed Redhead Esq to ask how her treatment is going. The following response was received 22 seconds later:
From: Redhead Esq
Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 8:16 AM
All is going well. The food sucks here, but the people are nice and there is excellent wireless coverage. The doctor says I may be in here a while. That’s fine; I managed to get my laptop, iPod, iPhone, BlackBerry and PSP through security. (Don’t ask how.) I’ll be cured in no time.
This message was sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld.